Magic
Magic is a mysterious force that is present in every living thing in the universe. The First Law of Magic The First Law states that magic is a powerful force not subject to normal rules of science. Magic is capable of doing things that are normally considered impossible by conventional science, most notably that magic is an inexhaustible form of energy, something that violates normal laws of thermodynamics. The Second Law of Magic The Second Law states that magical energy must be channeled through a magical item of some kind. Magical energy cannot be harnessed in its raw form, and needs a medium to be able to affect the physical world. The Third Law of Magic The Third Law states that magic and technology do not mix in predictable ways. Attempts to enchant devices of great technological advancement often fail, and when they do succeed, they often produce unanticipated effects. Attempts to analyze magical energy with scientific equipment usually just identifies magic as nothing more than a strange form of radiation, and magical energy has never been successfuly harnessed by an instrument of technology. How Magical Items Work Magical items are objects that can be used to channel the raw magical energy that exists inside the wielder. These items can be used to achieve very different kinds of effects depending on how they were created. One example of a magical item is Matt's wizard staff, which has the specific power of banishing anyone to any location the wielder chooses (usually the Yukon). The staff may hold any number of powers, but Matt cannot use those powers until he knows what they are. Once the wielder of a magical item knows what the item can do, however, they can use that item's power at any time. Magical items often develop an affinity for their owners, and will often obey only their master, or in some cases, anyone the master considers a friend. Magical items can often be summoned to their master with nothing more than a thought. However, if a wielder of a magical item is able to overcome the wielder of another item through a particularly sound or humiliating defeat, magical items can sometimes change allegiance as a result. Known Magical Items Matt's Wizard Staff In the real world, it’s just an intricately carved piece of wood from the Renaissance Festival with no magical properties whatsoever. But in the fictional world, it has the power to banish people anywhere. (The Yukon is the preferred location.) So far, it has not exhibited any other qualities, but it’s still very mysterious. Using cloning technology, Number 3 was able to create six exact replicas of the fictional staff, and send them to the waiting hands of Matt, Background Singers 1 and 2, Bobby and Robbie Brimstone, and Samuel Baptist. Marty Fireand still has the original staff, and Matt and Background Singer Number 2 still have their staff clones. Three of the staffs, however, were stolen by Secundus, Tertius, and Quartus. One of the staffs is currently missing. E.T. still has his non-functional staff. Crabsbane An ancient weapon that can only be wielded by the most strong-willed of kaburophobes, Crabsbane is a meat cleaver infused with mystical powers. It can summon bolts of lightning that, when directed at an enemy crustacean, will weaken its exoskeleton to the point that the victim will often become immobilized due to loss of body structure. The effect of this lightning on non-crustaceans is currently unknown. Jesse proved himself worthy of wielding this mighty weapon when he died trying to defeat the Queen of Poorly Animated Crabs. Thankfully, he had eaten an inexplicably magical potsticker that had granted him an extra life, which allowed him to come back, the weapon appearing in the ground in front of him. It is now bonded to Jesse, and will obey the commands of no one else. This blade’s history is shrouded in secrecy, although it is rumored to have originated in China. The Millennium Ring This powerful artifact from ancient Egypt comes from the YuGiOh animated series, but has apparently crossed over into our universe along with the Anomaly. The Ring has a number of powers, including the ability to summon monsters to do the wielder's bidding, the ability to attach soul fragments to different objects, illusory magic, creating Shadow Games, and the power to lead the wielder to any destination he or she wishes. It also appears to be able to release harmful bursts of raw magical power that harm any other people within close range. This magical item is a powerful force to have on one's side. The Hats of Reason The Matt Hatter wears a hat in each review. Each of his hats has the ability to make the wearer more reasonable, which is how Matt is able to fairly compare books and movies and keep his book reviewing partner in check. The Traveling Coffee Mug At some point, Matt acquired a coffee mug that, when filled with coffee, will transport anyone who drinks from it to another location, and occasionally, even another time. Sometimes, the drinker has a say in where he or she goes, but often the destination is seemingly arbitrary. Whether the mug will work if filled with something other than coffee is unclear.